Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
