I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
