Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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