we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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