Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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