I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
