I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
