uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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