he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
