I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
barbara walters just said penis...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
