You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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