Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I deserve this hangover.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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