Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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