I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
