there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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