it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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