so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
