somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
