I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
