you mean i was at the winter classic?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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