I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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