This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
