talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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