Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
