Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
