The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
His nipple licking is glorious
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