You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
why do cheetos always look like penises
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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