how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
