Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
