i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
