If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
