Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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