if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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