That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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