At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
