can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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