And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
