their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
