I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish you could order shots online.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
