I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
