Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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