Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
