shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
