Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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