Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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