He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
