Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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