I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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