So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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