I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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