You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
