i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So. Much. Porn.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
