is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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