Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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