If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
