I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
