I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
