some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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