around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
