i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
