I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
literally had 100 drinks last night.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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