why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
