Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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