So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
