but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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