she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
